Too Good to Pass Up

It was an exceptionally slow day at work on Friday, so my co-worker Nina and myself decided to entertain ourselves by reading the campus newspaper.

This was the article that caught our attention.

"Search for Nuts in the SB Gardens: Nature Offers New Ways to Get Frisky"

Here are some of the better quotes:
" Gather your walking stick, binoculars, safari hat, condoms - whatever you need for an outdoor f*ck."

"The garden harbors all the ingredients for a romance sesh: chirping birds, buzzing bees, colorful flowers, shady tree canopies and there are even some stray kids and hapless old ladies to amuse..."

"Not wanting to send you horny guys and gals in there with no sense of direction, I went in last weekend with my f*ck buddy to conduct my own 'field research.' ...The first potential spot is you'll come across is this cute rustic-looking bridge. However, chances are it will already be taken. Don't fret! There's a nice big boulder nearby with this amazingly smooth, flat spot that's made for mounting your partner and poudin' it missionary style."

"Watch out for squirrels though - they like nuts."

Only in the UCSB student newspaper could their be such an intriguing and poinant article to stimulate the minds of all who may read it. Looks, like you could be getting more for your money than you ever thought by going to the Botanic Gardens.